Transitioning To Work Post Parental Leave

This article was first published in one of the newsletters at my workplace back in 2018. I received an overwhelming response from the readers — mainly in the form of kudos for keeping it real and not glossing over the challenges casually. Even after several years, the points I made still apply. Give it a read, and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Being a mom is a difficult task. Throw 80% travel on top — and it instantly becomes an extremely tough one. A few years ago, when my husband and I were considering the family expansion, we discussed various options to manage our post-baby lives. And just as every seasoned consultant would do, I quickly documented the Pros and Cons of raising an infant while traveling every week. And we committed ourselves to a plan which somehow worked (and is thankfully still working…)

As a first-time mother, I am still in discovery mode, so I am far from giving parenting advice, but I would love to share with you what has worked and has not worked for me up until now. So here is how the list goes:

1. Develop your strategy but be prepared to improvise: It was evident to me that I wanted to be in client services because I love what I do. My husband supported my choice wholeheartedly. We knew it would be rough, but we chose to stick to our career goals despite that. However, soon after the baby arrived, we realized that I would not be able to travel right away and that I might have to take a short break from travel. As a family, we agreed I could potentially resume travel when our baby starts to sleep through the night and is completely weaned off. This turned out to be an excellent decision. I had grossly underestimated the effort that would go into night feedings. When I returned to work, around 4.5 months postpartum, I worked with HR to place me on local projects and also connected with partners to consider me for any projects or initiatives that I would be able to support remotely. My son started to sleep through the night when he was around eight months old. At that point, I immediately started to travel again.
2. Create a support system for your unique lifestyle: Since I was planning to resume 80% travel, we knew we would need a lot of HELP! We settled on getting an au pair who could help with the baby during the day. Also, my husband is very hands-on with the baby, and my mother-in-law lived with us for six months. My son bonded well with his dad and the au pair. By avoiding daycare, not only did we escape the much-dreaded cold and flu for the first two years, but we also saved ourselves from daily drop-off/pick-up duties. Creating a support system of this sort helped our family to ease back into my travel lifestyle. I definitely had the peace of mind I needed to be able to be away from home.
3. Plan and prepare ahead: Everything we do needs enormous planning and preparation, given our single-local-parent situation. The consulting career comes in handy when it comes to planning; we have tried to Automate, Streamline and Delegate to simplify our lives. I did a lot of research and reading early on to learn about sleep training and healthy eating habits, both of which have turned out to be very helpful! We have also adopted a minimalistic lifestyle (I can probably write another article on that later), which has simplified our lives. And we have delegated everything we could — cleaning, yard work, and every other chore, so that, when I am home, I can focus primarily on what's most important — my son!
4. Be open to giving up control: We now have an unconventional family setup with slightly lopsided roles — my husband is the mom while I am the traveling dad. While we make all significant decisions together, he has the most say in all baby-related decisions ranging from which pediatrician to choose, to which formula to feed, to what to pack for our baby for vacations, to any specifics about our baby's daily routine. Relinquishing this control was very hard for me in the beginning, and we initially often got into disagreements. But I gradually learned that I could not do this without giving in and sometimes giving up. These days, when I'm home, I mostly take orders and directions and have my husband take the lead on all baby matters.
5. Focus on yourself, too: I was fortunate to be able to take good care of myself right after the delivery. I had the luxury of enjoying homemade meals and had access to 24/7 help, with many thanks to my sister and my husband. I started working out as soon as the doctor allowed me to, which involved biking and swimming. I wanted to lose my pregnancy weight during my maternity leave, and fortunately, I could do so! I made a conscious effort to do something for myself every day — whether getting my nails done or inviting a friend over for some social interaction. This helped me through my brief postpartum depression and made me feel better overall. By the end of my maternity leave, I was more than ready to return to work — Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically.

Creating a new life is a rewarding experience — one that should be cherished. It is also exhausting and painful. Despite all strategy and planning, hard days are inevitable. Gratitude, thankfulness, and my loving family have helped me keep my head above water and made it easier to cope with the significant life change. We will always have a list of competing priorities in life — we just have to learn how to balance them skillfully.

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